Who is the best counselor in Spokane? Who is the best counselor in Seattle? Who is the best counselor in the Tri-cities? These are questions that you may be asking. Unfortunately, there is no absolute answer to this question. In fact, asking who is the best counselor is sort of a counterproductive question.
The best counselor implies that there is some sort of psychotherapy competition. We all love competition, but competition implies grading. Grades have their place in determining what rank or achievement that is judged by a certain standard. Grades may be useful in some situations, but really they are pointless in ranking therapists.
To reduce counseling services to grading is dangerous. Who is the best counselor in Spokane, is like asking who is the best brother in Spokane. Asking who is the best counselor in Seattle is like asking who is the best sister in Seattle. This is not to say that a counselor is a sibling, but a counselor by definition is someone who works from a relational dynamic.
A relational dynamic implies at least two people interacting. In a counseling (aka therapy) relationship there are two people interacting, client and counselor. Sometimes a counselor is a great fit for one client, and a terrible fit for another client.
An ethical therapy relationship involves an intake process. This is similar to trying on a new pair of shoes. Everyone needs certain shoes for certain tasks. Some shoes are for hiking, some are for fancy occasions, and some shoes are for skateboarding. Without a proper intake process for the counseling sessions, you are buying random shoes that may or may not fit your needs. I inform all new clients that the first 1 to 3 sessions are an intake session. We are trying to see if relationally we fit as a client and counselor.
So what is the best approach to find the best counselor? Ideally, you would have the ability to try out a couple counselors and decide which one you want to invest your time and energy with. I realize that this is often not an option. However, this is the ideal.
The general inability of most clients to shop around for their counselor is a flaw in the system. Flaws in systems are often a talking point in counseling relationships. How do we cope in a very imperfect world? (This is a topic for another blog post) We live in very flawed communities, cities, states, and nations. I wish, I had a better answer to the issue of ‘I really want to shop around for the best counselor in Spokane or Seattle.’ The truth is that you probably have few options, but in an ideal system you would have as many options as you do when you shop on Amazon.
Speaking of Amazon, there are convenient online options for shopping around for counselors. Some counselors, psychotherapists, and social workers disparage online platforms such as betterhelp and talkspace. However, there is one major advantage to these online platforms, as they allow you to try a therapist and quickly switch to a new one if you do not feel like it’s a good fit. This is not to say there are not problems with these sites, but they are havens for allowing people to shop around for therapists.
Time for me to tell you something else about this particular blog post: the advertising consultant that I hired told me to write at least five times that I am the best counselor in Spokane. They wanted me to proclaim that I was the best counselor in Seattle, and that I was the best counselor in Washington state. I hope by this time, you realize that such categorization of therapists is not a valid way of thinking. I can not be and I am not the best as the best does not actually exist.
The best counselor in Washington state is the counselor that you feel comfortable talking to, who behaves ethically, and that you can afford to keep seeing. There is a lot more to what makes a best counselor, but the best counselor is the one that is accessible and relationally inline which makes you feel safe about opening up.
Every counselor is person and their skills vary. There is no such thing as the best counselor in Spokane. There is no such thing as the best counselor in Seattle. Who is a good counselor for your boss, may be a horrible counselor for you. The person making your coffee in the morning may have just had a great counseling session with therapist X, but when you met with therapist X you were gravely disappointed. This is the nature of relational dynamics. We all have synergy and connections with different professionals. In a relational endeavor as complicated as talk therapy, everyone is going to have different interactions with everyone else.
The other hard truth in counseling, when considering who is the best counselor in Spokane or the best counselor in Seattle (there advertising consultant, have I put these key words enough in this blog post!?) every session is not transformational. Sometimes it takes a while to build a cognitive map of your world and how you fit into it. Sometimes counseling involves rapport building or discussing upcoming stressors, and other times we stumble upon profound realizations. No counselor can promise tremendous breakthroughs every session or honestly at all for all clients. I will say the old adage that you miss every shot you don’t take applies to counseling. You miss every best counseling session ever every time that you do not make an appointment for therapy.
So I encourage you to shop around and have an open mind on who might be the best counselor in Washington state for you.